I’ve
seen more movies that I’ve taken the time to write a proper review of. So here
are some summary reviews of stuff that I’ve seen this year. These are super
simple, mostly just boiling down to whether I’d recommend the film or not. I
should have written something more detailed at the time, but I’m lazy. What can
I say?
Five Reviews in Total: Iron Man 3, Oz the Great and Powerful, The Wolverine, The
Hangover Part III, and Pacific Rim.
Iron Man 3 (2013). Starring Robert Downy Jr. & Cocaine. Directed by Shane
Black. Rated PG-13 (for inappropriate product placement and kowtowing to China)
Story:
3 / 5
Direction:
3 / 5
Acting:
4 / 5
Visual:
3 / 5
Overall
Rating: 3.25 / 5
Tony Stark has a robot suit. He’s upset after nearly
dying during The Avengers film (the one where nobody died and nothing was
really at stake). He gets beat up by Gandhi, who isn’t really Gandhi, and a
bunch of robots show up at the end rather than earlier on when he could have
used them. Despite knowing Thor and Captain America and Hulk and Black Widow,
none of them show up to help him.
Kidding aside it’s a solid film, it’s fun. Downey’s performance
is fantastic, again, and really makes the movie.
Would I recommend this film? Yes.
Oz theGreat and Powerful (2013). Starring A CGI Creature & No Midgets.
Directed by Sam Rami. Rated PG
Story:
2 / 5
Direction:
3 / 5
Acting:
2 / 5
Visual:
2 / 5
Overall
Rating: 2.25 / 5
The prequel that nobody wanted to a story everyone
loves. Oz the Great and Powerful
tells the story of how a CGI character, accompanied by a little animated
monkey, get into mischief and turn Mila Kunis into a terrible actress. The plot
is thin, sanitized, and uninspired. The characters are dull and lifeless. Sam
Rami manages to sneak in some fun stuff here and there, but otherwise the
entire movie is a flatline.
Would I recommend this film? No. The 1939 Wizard of Oz is still a great film,
however.
The Wolverine (2013). Starring Hugh Jackman & The Ugliest Woman on the
Planet. Directed by James Mangold. Rated PG-13
Story:
2 / 5
Direction:
2 / 5
Acting:
3 / 5
Visual:
3 / 5
Overall
Rating: 2.5 / 5
The Wolverine is the fifth movie about the legendary
comic book character, The Wolverine. The first four being; X-Men, X-Men 2, X-Men 3, and X-Men Origins: Wolverine. Unlike those films, love them or hate
them, this movie didn’t have a plot or any characters to care about. Wolverine
goes to Japan for some reason. He fights some people. He protects this girl. He
fights an old man in a robot suit. That’s it.
The only redeeming thing about the film is the post
credits sequence, which is a lead in to X-Men:
Days of Future Past.
Would I recommend this film? No. The best thing you
can say about it is that it makes X-Men
Origins: Wolverine look like a good movie.
The Hangover Part III (2013). Starring Zack Galifinakis & Kim Jong Il. Directed
by Todd Phillips. Rated R.
Story:
3 / 5
Direction:
3 / 5
Acting:
3 / 5
Visual:
3 / 5
Overall
Rating: 3 / 5
The Hangover Part III features neither a hangover or a
third part to a story that needed only one part. It’s impossible to explain in
one paragraph what makes this movie good or bad. Honestly it’s middle of the
road. It’s not funny, but it’s a decent crime/heist thriller.
Would I recommend this film? Not really. But it’s
entirely possible twenty years from now this trilogy of films will be looked at
as this anomaly where a director played a trick on everyone in the country and
got away with it.
Pacific Rim (2013). Starring Robots & Giant
Monsters. Directed by Guillermo del Toro. Rated PG-13
Story:
3 / 5
Direction:
3 / 5
Acting:
3 / 5
Visual:
4 / 5
Overall
Rating: 3.25 / 5
Monsters come out of the ocean. Giant robots are built
to fight monsters. What else do you need in a film? Nothing. This film knows it’s
campy and revels in it. I can’t imagine anyone other than Guillermo del Toro
touching this kind of material and making anything this entertaining out of it.
It’s a load of fun, but turn off your brain. It’s not that kind of movie.
Would I recommend this film? Absolutely!
Explanation of Ratings
All ratings are on a 5 point scale where 1 is the lowest possible score. A score of 3 indicates the film was simply effective in this regard. A score of 5 indicates perfection in a given category. The overall rating is a simple average of the four scores.
All ratings are on a 5 point scale where 1 is the lowest possible score. A score of 3 indicates the film was simply effective in this regard. A score of 5 indicates perfection in a given category. The overall rating is a simple average of the four scores.
- Story
-- How well the film was written? Did the story make sense?
Were there plot holes? Was the dialogue natural for the
style/genre?
- Direction
-- How well was the film put together? Did all of the elements come
together properly? How was the pacing? Was the tone consistent
and effective? A subcategory of this would be editing, but for the
purpose of these reviews it is combined into one category.
- Acting
-- How good were the performances? In a drama did the lead
actor/actress draw the audience in? In a comedy where the performers
funny? This is an amalgam score of all the performances in the
piece. A single great performance can elevate the entire score, but a
bunch of bad performances can just as easily bring it down.
- Visual
-- How did the film look? If there were visual effects were they
used appropriately and did they look good? Did the overall look
enhance the telling of the story?
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